Super Monaco GP on Genesis – Pre game

I’ve never really been into racing games. They’re always ok to play for a bit of a distraction, or smashing friends with blue shells when they’re in first place, but there have been very few that have ever held my attention. I think only the original Gran Turismo on PS1 and Super Monaco GP have ever really had any staying power for me.

Because this is a retro games blog (and I decree that PS1 is NOT RETRO) I thought I’d spend some time thinking about Super Monaco GP. Now, in my memory this is a Sega Genesis game. However, I’m starting to wonder if that is actually the case. You see, it is at least ALSO a Sega Master System game.

(insert some research time passing… think of some amazing elevator music)

Thank Gord it’s also a Genesis game, I have not lost my mind grapes!

http://www.retrogameoftheday.com/

This might’ve been one of the first games I had on my Genesis, I certainly played it a lot. Or, did I even OWN this game? I have a really strong association between a friend of mine and this game… maybe it was HIS game?

At any rate, I remember the gameplay being smooth and the courses really challenging. One particular corner sticks out in my mind: after a looooong straightaway having to break hard and gear down from 7th to 3rd gear. Strange that I can remember that one particular corner, but not if I even owned the game. Brains are weird.

I remember a cool league or circuit-type business that was a lot of fun, there must’ve been standings, but I don’t remember how I did.

We shall soon see!

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Over a few games – NHL 9X – Genesis

Dear readers, did you guess that after playing Blades of Steel I would immediately fall into a Sega Genesis retro hockey game pit and never return? Well you didn’t, but if you HAD guessed that you would be correct!

pics.mobygames.com

PLAY ALL THE NHLZ ON THE GENESIS’Z!

I’ve been working through NHL’s 93, 94, and 96 (not sure why I skipped 95) looking for the hockey experience that I remember. What I’ve learned so far is that, unsurprisingly, what I remember doesn’t exist… or at least I haven’t found it.

NHL 93 has the slick, tight control that I fondly remember – after a few minutes I could deke almost any CPU player out of their snowpants. But no one-timers! WTH?

NHL 94 brings the one-timer thunder, but they’re really clunky and I couldn’t actually get that many to fire. I have this game for SNES as well, but in addition to clunky one-timers, the gameplay was also pretty sluggish. I have a suspicion that my SNES controller is about to give up the ghost, so I won’t kick the SNES version TOO much.

Also, apparently NHL 94 turned 20 last year and it made Jeremy Roenick a star! Huh, the more you know.

NHL 96 – Genesis

NHL 96 is the closest yet and I spent awhile with it last night. Its gameplay is FAR faster than 93 & 94, and the AI is so stupid. SO STUPID. My own defencemen kept knocking me off my line of attack (if you recall, the best defence in these games is to flatten your opponents – the best players are the best checkers… naturally, Gentleman Joe Sakic LAYS PEOPLE OUT).

LEMIEUX AND GRETZKY ARE IN THESE DAMN GAMES!@$%@#

So. Good.

And, of course, my Oilers are freaking terrible. In. Each. Game… Does nothing ever change?

A Genesis that transforms into Megatron?

Yes please

ca.ign.com

Via IGN (the post IGN references at tformers here), apparently there will be an Asia-only release of a Sega Genesis that transforms into a classic-ish Megatron… so cool.

It’s unclear to me if this will be a fully functionaly Genesis, or if it’s just for “this-looks-awesome” appeal. Either way, it looks badass.

Altered Beast – Genesis – played it for 5

Introducing: “I played for 5 minutes”

In my journey through the land of old, retro games I’ve been finding that I’ll sometimes play a title for a few minutes, then put it down and never really get back to it. My hunch is that this phenomenon happens for one of a few reasons:

1. The game might have a really steep skill/ learning curve. I’m guessing this is going to happen to me on real killers like Mega-Man. I remember trying out the series as a kid and having no success then – I’m guessing old me is going to get killed… a lot… and not make it very far.
2. The game might take more of a time investment than I’m willing to give. Some of the big RPG’s will probably land here. Though, if I come to one of those games I really should know what to expect, so if I give one of them up it’s really on me.
3. Finally, the game might just be rubbish. Let’s face it. Some games haven’t aged well. Some games would’ve appeal to a younger version of me. Some games have just always been terrible, which brings me to…

Altered Beast

Wikimedia.org

Altered Beast is the perfect game for the inaugural Played it for 5.

This is a dumb game.

I think Altered Beast was originally included with my Sega Genesis when I got it and I don’t remember ever liking it. At least partially so, because I was epically and completely bad at it. Now I was/am bad at most old games, but I was/ continue to be ridiculously, embarrassingly, hilariously, side-splittingly bad at Altered Beast.

So bad in fact, that I don’t remember ever getting past the 1st boss.

I mean, good Gord! There’s a flying thing that descends on your head to kill you AND YOU CAN’T STOP IT. Stupidity abounds!

There’s a flying thing that descends on your head to kill you AND YOU CAN’T STOP IT

Altered Beast is a bad game. It’s really bad.

And seriously, what’s up with this guy?

NBA Jam TE – Sega Genesis – Game the Game

JOHN STARKS! The dude I couldn’t remember from the Knicks is John Starks!

BUT I decided that I wouldn’t go with ol’ Starksy for my first game, so I chose Da’Bulls. Now, this brings me to an ENTIRE part of NBA Jam that I forgot about: you chose a 3-letter name and immediately set about defeating the entire NBA, starting with the Mavericks.

So, needless to say, I dispatched of the Mavericks without a lot of trouble (I mean: Pippen… come on)…

In my massive 8 pt stomping of Dallas, I learned the following about this game:

• Using your CPU partner is 100% boring, but actually works (I don’t remember this at all… did I always play this game with friends?)
• I’m not as good as I remember. Seriously. I didn’t get ONE “HE’S ON FIRE”
• I had a hard time dunking really awesome dunks. I don’t remember this aspect being that difficult. You know, the “jam” aspect of NBA Jam…
• I didn’t get a single block
• Mashing turbo made my thumb hurt (A – shoot; B – turbo; C – pass) feels like I used a different combo. ALSO, remember when the controllers actually made your hands HURT? Geez, my old man hands can’t take this kind of punishment anymore… probably because they took all the contorted-into-weird-Sega-Genesis-controller-shapes-playing-games punishment when I was a teenager
• The CPU IS A DAMN DIRTY CHEAT IN THE FINAL MINUTES OF THE GAME AND YES I KNOW I COULD’VE TURNED THAT OPTION OFF, BUT SERIOUSLY IT HAS A BUILT-IN CHEAT MODE FOR THE DAMN DIRTY CPU PLAYER?!?!?
• And finally, the defensive strategy of ‘knock the other guys over’ seems to work well 🙂

Never did figure out what the “TE” gives me… though I did see online that apparently it’s possible to unlock a whack of hidden players. Like, Bill Clinton…

If you’re into that.

Which I’m not.

Final game stats

And sweet zombie jesus, if you REALLY want to get into the game without playing the game, I found a 4.5 hour playthrough on YouTube… so there’s that…

Because I don’t have a good way to grab video, want to be as multi-sensory as possible, and don’t want to deprive you of an actual review of NBA Jam TE on the Genesis by someone how sound like a game-reviewer, I found this for you:

… aaaaaaaannnnnnndddddddd

Yes, I chose “ASS” as my name. And you would’ve too, you saucy minx.

PS – here’s the pre game.

Retron 3 NTSC/ PAL Schmoz

My problems with my Retron 3 have been recorded for posterity and subsequently clarified, though it’s time to add another, which I will call: “what?”

It seems like the Retron 3 is a PAL machine. Frankly I didn’t even know that was a thing for videogames until I plugged in my brand spankin’ new/old copy of Streets of Rage 2. I guess it makes sense that would be a thing… but seriously?

WHAT?

So, at least Genesis games are locked to regions on this slowly-becoming-more-useless-as-time-rolls-on machine. Sweet Zombie Jesus Retron, why would you sell PAL encoded hardware in North America???

I guess I can least play SoR IIand Shinobi III guilt-free on an emulator now…

NBA Jam TE – Genesis – Pre Game

http://gamesdbase.com/game/sega-32x/nba-jam-te.aspx

“FROM DOWNTOWN”

Did I own this game? I don’t think I did… I probably would’ve played it on Genesis (was it even ON SNES or NES??? Must’ve been… anyway). This was definitely a game that I only really played with friends and almost never on my own. Seriously, 2-on-2 and you’re NOT going to do co-op?

I think it was likely a rental. DO YOU REMEMBER RENTING VIDEOGAMES? Holy crap, I suddenly remember renting games, spending 48 hours straight playing them, and having to return them. I love Steam and I buy my share of used games, but renting was a different way to think about gaming…

“HE’S HEATING UP”

One of the things I’m very sure about is that I only ever played NBA Jam, not NBA Jam Tournament Edition, or as those of us with blogs with visitor counts in the single digits per week call it, “TE”. In fact, I don’t think I had ever heard of TE until a few weeks ago when I started browsing top-100-old-game-lists. Relatedly, TE is #9 on Dorkly’s list and #87 on Retro-Santuary’s. These things are incredibly subjective so I’m not surprised by the huge variation. IGN gave/gives regular NBA Jam 8.3, great, out of 10 and says that the Genesis version is scaled down from the SNES version. I FEEL RIPPED OFF!

I’m interested to see if I can spot any differences. From my initial reading it seems like TE has loads of easter eggs and I’m guessing a new, or perhaps improved tournament mode? Dear reader, can’t you tell already that I’m one intelligent SOB?

“I DON’T REMEMBER ANY MORE OF THE CATCHPHRASES FROM THE GAME”

As for gameplay, it was 2-on-2 and I remember loving to sink 3-pointers as <can’t remember his name> from the Knicks… you know… not Patrick Ewing, the other guy. There was turbo or something too, right? Rationing turbo was important for dunks and steals right?

Is it obvious that I don’t recall many details? I mainly remember this game featuring huge dunks ,being  frustrating because the CPU always got super-tough near the end of the game, and it generally being a metric buttload of fun. I can’t wait to put some time in on it.

OOO and the basketball lights on fire!

I’ve written the gaming game post!

Blogging is hard

So I love playing videogames. I’m even writing my Master’s thesis about videogames. I like games now, but I LOVED them as a kid. Or at least, I really loved them in retrospect – probably something that happens to one as one gets older… the application of past love to things done in the past… (there’s probably a germanic verb conjugation for that)

ANYWAY

In the name of this love, or assigned love (or past love magnified by the passing of time or past frustration forged into love by a longing for youth) over the last few years I’ve been slowly putting together a collection of retro games/ systems. Chiefly NES, but I picked up a Genesis and even brought all my OLD OLD Coleco stuff home from my parent’s house. However, and to my everlasting shame, I’ve never really spent any time with the old favourites. I own Super Mario 3, BUT I’VE NEVER PLAYED IT, for example. There are lots of reasonable excuses like “being lazy”, “being busy”, or “I’m tending my WoW garden so leave me alone”, but it really came down to convenience. Modern TVs don’t have coax connections and having system upon system set-up in addition to XBox, Wii, Bluray, etc. takes up a buttload of space.

So imagine my happiness when I came across the RetroN 3. The damn thing plays 3 different systems worth of games! 3 SYSTEMS! It has wireless controllers and modern (well, not, like, HDMI or anything, but rather the respectable composite & s-video) video outs.

So I bought this thing online, waited for it, set it up, and tried it out.

Fail #1: the wireless controllers are rubbish (I’ll tell that story another time). Well, OK, that’s annoying, but no problem. The RetroN 3 has input for legacy controllers…

Fail #2: using the NES controllers still has WAY too much lag! I don’t know if you remember old games, but what they lacked in video quality, they made up for in speed and need-for-super-quick-movements-to-avoid-the-BOUNCING-KILLER-ENEMIESOFDOOM!

So. I’m back to my legacy systems and the not-doing-it-ness that comes with them, from me.

Though it isn’t THAT bad, it will just delay the population of this blog. And hey, this really is the epitome of a first world problem 🙂

EDIT: I tried again last night and don’t hate things quite so much.